Drowning in Tears
A century and more ago incest and sexual abuse were rampant in crowded Irish families. And abuse is generally something that is passed on from generation to generation. I don't know to what extent this was a factor, but as a very young child I was abused daily by my grandfather, with whom we lived. I was too young to talk, and taught to keep the secret until one day it came out. Instead of believing and protecting me, my father beat me senseless and blamed me, calling me a liar. This forged our relationship for the rest of my life. For many years I didn't remember why he beat me, or hated me. I just knew he did.
One in four people have been abused. Its. very hard to deal with it. I blocked it out mentally until I was much older, and slowly memories of the abuse came back. But it was never really gone. It shaped my whole life after the physical part was over. Nothing can ever give back the innocence lost.
Unless you've been there you can't begin to understand why it will never go away. We live shattered little lives to the best of our abilities, never knowing where the next trigger is. Or what the next outburst will result in. All the inner pieces cry out to be whole, but that will never be, because a long time ago someone took a vital part of us. And it's just gone.
Please visit my friend Willow's site, she has a
page about other kinds of abuse.
http://gaiaschild043.tripod.com
If you have been abused there are places that can help
Another friend has a website that helps others with
DID/MPD
http://multiple-personality.com/
Check local resources for help with PTSD
If the abuse is still happening you have to get
help to stop it. If it has stopped, you can
find others in your area to talk to. You don't
have to be alone any more.